Martyrdom
by Star.Splattered.Sky
Summary: Sakura was an honourable shinobi. And if she had it her way, she would die that way. Under repair and extreme editing.


Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own Naruto.

Theme: Chance meetings

Prompt: Self-sacrifice

Rating: T

Warnings: Contains swearing, character death, implies sex.

Xxx

Sakura was an honourable shinobi.

And if she had it her way, that's how she would die.

Xxx

self-sac·ri·fice [self-sak-r_uh_-fahys]

–_**noun**_

sacrifice of one's interests, desires, etc., as for duty or the good of another.

Xxx

Naruto would not stand for it.

"What are you thinking. What the hell are you thinking? You are talented and loved and you want to fucking _kill _yourself?"

Naruto had been screaming for an hour; he, Sai and Sakura sat in Sakura's apartment, which thankfully had thick walls. Sakura had to admit that though she realized Naruto to be upset, she expected Naruto to understand.

"This is what we signed up for. Can't you understand that she's dying? And if she dies, then the whole village falls apart! No one else can save her-but I can! I can _save _her, Naruto! I can her and the village, and you want to stop me? Please, Naruto! Try to understand!"

"Ugly," Sai interrupted. "If you die, who will make sure Naruto will eat actual food?"

"I hand that duty to you, Sai."

Naruto stood up abruptly.

"I can believe you actually want to do this. But I'm not going to let you."

Panic rose up Sakura's throat, but she forced herself to stay calm.

"No. Naruto, you can't tell anybody. I trusted you-you just can't!" If Sakura had to wrestle Naruto to the floor, then she would do it.

Naruto gave her a sad look.

"You're not going to listen, are you. Nothing's going to stop you."

"I have to do this."

"Okay then."

Thick tension filled the room, suffocating any words that Sakura had thought of (pacing back in forth in her room, trying to prepare, but some things, you can't prepare for) saying.

"How are you going to pull this off?"

Sakura breathed in and started to recite the plan she had lost so much sleep over.

"I'm like her family; I pretended that she is close to recovering and asked the elders if I could move her so that she do so at home. They approved. Tonight, Izumo and Kotetsu will move her out to an undisclosed locations in the outskirts of Konoha, so nobody can sense the fluctuating of the chakra. "

Sai twirled his chopsticks. "Anyone else know?"

"You two, Izumo, Kotetsu, Shizune, Kakashi-sensei and Shikamaru."

Naruto sneered.

"You're just telling us this now and all of these other people know?"

Sakura was about to reprimand Naruto for his attitude, but luckily Sai answered first.

"It's probably because she knew you would behave like this. Every shinobi will be faced with a similar choice at least once in their career; this is Sakura's, and I believe she is making a reasonable decision."

"Thanks, Sai." At least she had the support of Sai.

"It just might work, Ugly."

Sakura knew it would.

Xxx

"Can't you talk to her?" Naruto whined.

Squinting at the sunlight, Kakashi waited until the jogger passed by the bench the two sat on before responding.

"Nothing can stop her." The way he said it made Naruto think Kakashi needed to care more.

"I-put that book down! But can't you just try-she wants to kill herself!"

Paying no heed to what Naruto said, Kakashi flipped the page.

"It's what she wants-not to kill herself, no, but to save Tsunade. She's like a mother-figure to Sakura, and Sakura understands that to save Tsunade is to save the village."

"But you said that people who abandon their teamates are worse than trash!"

"We're not abandoning her, though. What we're doing is letting her free; in fact, if you don't support her, then you'll be abandoning her."

"But-"

"She'll be a hero. It's what she needs."

"But she'd already a hero! She's saved lots of people's lives already!"

"This is her chance to save the whole village."

"But-"

Kakashi snapped his book shut, obviously done with Naruto's objecting.

"You're being selfish. We can't just keep her to ourselves; she is capable of making her own decisions. This one will save the village."

"Isn't there another way?"

"No. We tried, but this is the only option. Enemy villages will take advantage of Konoha's weakened state; with Tsunade healthy, we will be strong enough to deter them and fight the upcoming advances of the Akatsuki."

"But I'll miss her. Won't she miss us?" Naruto spoke softly, startling Kakashi with his child-like naivety.

Kakashi had never felt so old before.

"She can't. She'll be dead."

Xxx

When it was all said and done, convincing the elders to let her move Tsunade was probably one of the easiest thing she ever did.

Leaving, however, was probably the hardest.

"Please, Sakura! There has to be another way!"

Sakura loved Naruto. She knew that if Tsunade was not back in the Hokage office soon, the elders would pick the "most qualified" for the job.

Danzo.

She knew that Danzo as Hokage would equal imprisonment for Naruto. Naruto meant more to her than that.

(Naruto meant the world.)

"So I guess, this is it, huh."

Kakashi, Sai and Naruto stood clustered in a group, a large space between her and the three boys. Shikamaru stood off to the side, awkwardly rubbing his neck, there to see his plan through.

No matter how hard she tried, Sakura knew she couldn't help but cry. She wanted them to watch her back? Well, now they would. But it made Sakura anything but happy. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around the three.

"'m proud of you Sakura." Kakashi's voice was muffled, with a soft air of emotion.

Feeling out of place, Shikamaru spoke.

"Hey...Sakura, I'll head back to base. Good luck,hey?"

Giving a salute, he started to leave before Sakura stopped him.

"Can you give this to Ino?" Sakura held a small letter, enclosed in a cherry-blossom printed envelope.

Shikamaru nodded, before walking away.

"Don't mess up, 'kay Ugly?" Sai felt it was necessary to break the silence, adding his comment brightly.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Alright Sai."

"Hey, Sakura?"

Naruto spoke softly, voice hoarse from crying.

"I love you."

Sakura felt like a knife slid through her heart; she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, she couldn't...

"I love you too."

Just not in the same way.

I'm sorry.

Sakura found it painfully ironic how she was the weakest of her team, yet she could still move mountains with her pinkies and reduce the strongest shinobi to tears.

Five minutes later, after Naruto ranting about how he should come, Sai adding insensitive comments, and Kakashi opening his orange book, Sakura began to feel numb.

It was at that moment she decided it was time to go.

Her last image of her team was imprinted in her mind; Sai held a sobbing Naruto back ("See, Hag! I'm doing my job already!"), while Kakashi looked up from his Icha Icha.

"I love you!" Despite herself, Sakura shouted it loud and clear.

"Ready to go?" Izumo asked, he and Kotetsu being responsible to transport her and Tsunade in a small wagon.

"Nope. But let's go anyways."

With that, Sakura let the numbness wash over her.

Xxx

"We're here, Sak."

Kotetsu gestured towards a humble cabin.

(Sakura ignored the thought that she would die here.)

The trio moved Tsunade's unconscious form onto the cot in the cabin, before Izumo and Kotetsu bowed.

"You are a hero."

"We will not forget you, Sakura."

Feeling embarassed, Sakura stuttered.

"I-I, umm...thank you. For everything."

Watching the two leave, Sakura had never felt so alone.

Xxx

Tsunade's stats were stable, but to a skilled medic, it was obvious that she wouldn't get through alive.

The sooner, the better, Sakura told herself. You should get it over with; the sooner she recovers, the sooner Tsunade could get back to Konoha.

But Sakura figured they could wait one more day.

Xxx

The first thought in Sakura's mind as she woke up in the morning was quite a cynical one.

I'm not supposed to be alive.

That was how the morning went; I'm not supposed to be eating, not supposed to be showering, I should be dead dead dead deaddeaddeaddeaddeeeeeaaaaad-

Sakura supposed she was losing her mind.

After hearing keys jingle outside, her thoughts continued.

I'm not supposed to be walking, not supposed to be opening this door-

"...Sasuke?"

I'm not supposed to see him ever, ever again.

Xxx

Sasuke's job had been clear; stay in this cabin, watch Konoha. Just watch.

But it was boring as hell. And completely a waste of time.

So what did Sasuke do?

He went drinking.

Because he was mad; mad at Itachi for letting him kill him, mad at Konoha for doing ordering the massacre, mad at all the civilians for being so fucking happy all the time, when his brother gave everything-

Plus he was pretty sure he was going mad.

He went to a sketchy bar, drank some shitty alcohol, before passing out under a tree.

By the time he woke up, he had a splitting headache and was so disoriented he didn't even notice there was someone in his house.

Lucky for him, that person was so caught in their thoughts they didn't check chakra either.

"...Sasuke?"

It took him a moment to comprehend everything; there is a person inside my house, they know my name, they have pink hair, they're from Konoha-

"Hn."

God, I'm hungover.

"I-you-what are doing here?"

" Thifsismahous."

Still out of it, Sasuke's words slurred together.

"You're hungover, huh."

"Hangobars are a biiiitch."

Xxx

Sakura seemed calm on the outside, but her mind was running wild.

Sasuke was passed out on her couch.

After emptying his stomach violently, Sakura gave him herbal tea to try and settle it.

And now he was on her couch. That's where she slept last night.

Oh, wow.

He'd be up soon; and when he was, he'd be sober.

And probably would try to kill her.

She should go heal Tsunade now. Or...

Kill him in his sleep.

Taking a kunai out of her holster, she stalked closer to his sleeping form, readying her weapon...

"Don't you dare."

Sakura feigned innocence.

"I-you-huh?"

Smooth.

Sasuke got up from the couch eyeing Sakura with intensity.

"Sakura. What are you doing here."

"I should ask the same to you." Sakura raised her chin defiantly.

"I live here. I go drinking one time, and come home to you?"

Sakura inwardly cursed. Damn Shikamaru was probably too lazy to scout the house out for more than 10 minutes.

So Sakura resorted to pleading.

"Please don't hurt me! I'll leave, and we'll pretend this never happened, alright?"

Sasuke raised a perfect eyebrow.

"Your Hokage is passed out upstairs, and you are acting as suspicious as hell. I'm not letting you go unless you tell me what the fuck you're planning."

I'm sorry, but I can't!

"No."

"You do realize I can just kill you and the Hokage and you're precious village will be fucked over."

Sakura knew she had no other options. Either way, she and Tsunade were going to end up dead by the hands of the man she loved (still does).

"I'm going to save her life."

Xxx

Sakura's voice was as soft as a feather; light, floating and hollow.

Sasuke heard that tone voice before; he just couldn't pinpoint when.

He swallowed thickly.

"How?" His voice rang nearly as soft as hers; it made Sakura think that Sasuke knew more than he was leading on.

She sat down abruptly, and started to cry.

"I'm not scared, Sasuke. Just sad."

Just like that, Sasuke knew she was going to die.

He didn't know what to do, but then again, maybe he did. Because he was moving towards her, sitting beside her, touching her...

Holding her. Because she was sad (not scared), and when people were sad, you gave them a hug.

Sasuke had learnt that from his mother.

Before he knew it, Sakura wasn't crying anymore, but he was still holding her...

He kissed her.

He kissed her because there was this unfathomable price that came with being a shinobi, one that wasn't told or passed on, but because for shinobi it wasn't fair.

She kissed back simply because she loved him.

She figured the village could wait one more night as she sighed into Sasuke kiss, whimpering at the way he ran his hands up, then down, then up again, and she felt-

Alive.

Because all this time, when she had been living, had she been alive?

(It was like how just because it was a house, didn't mean it was a home).

He pressed himself against her, and Sakura thought yes, I am alive.

Xxx

She liked to think that they had not slept together, but had made love.

He liked to think of the way she had said I love you.

I love you.

Xxx

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Sasuke spoke in Sakura's hair as she gazed towards Tsunade.

"No. But I'm doing it anyways."

Suddenly, Sakura looked into Sasuke's eyes.

"I love you."

Sasuke hesitated.

"I think...I could have loved you."

If we had time, but we only have mere minutes.

Sasuke watched as Sakura made symbol after symbol, hands starting to glow like extra-terrestrial fireflies.

She placed her hands on Tsunade's chest, and Sasuke watched as another one of the people he loved died.

Why did they love Konoha? If they did not love their village so much, they'd be alive.

Ironic, how he hated Konoha so, so much.

His musings were abruptly broken with a voice.

"I-what the hell? Uchiha, are you going to tell me why my apprentice is dead? And why the hell are you here?"

Xxx

Sakura listened to Sasuke's slowing heartbeat, and the inhaleexhale of his lungs.

"Can you promise me something?"

Sasuke's arms cradled Sakura's bare form.

"Hn."

Sakura giggled, and Sasuke felt the corner of his lips twitch.

"Promise that you won't forget me, ne?"

Sasuke's breathe hitched.

"Never."

Xxx

Fine

Xxx

AN: Gah, I'm bad at this. Although this story is probably the longest I've ever written. Please review! Or I'll be really sad...


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